1. |
faith
00:26
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"where are you, what are you, who are you, what's happening"
"do you find yourself wrestling with g?d in your own work and what does that look like? given that we are, you know, b'nei yisrael and all of that"
"i am utterly consumed with doubt all the time. i can simultaneously talk with great passion about what faith would look like, and talk with great honesty about how hard it is to have it."
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2. |
skyman
04:04
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dear skyman, up in the sky
are you friends with all the birds flying by
or are you too high up to see them?
dear skyman, looking on us below
is there anything that you don’t already know
like where I will go, why, what, and when?
my teachers tell me all of the stories
of the miracles that You can do
arks and floods and a bush that is burning
i can only assume it’s all true
they say i should love you, they say i should talk to you,
and i try! i close my eyes… and imagine a dude in the sky
dear skyman, who created us all
can you really lift me up when I fall
or are you too tall to reach down here?
dear skyman, do you like when I pray?
can you listen to every word that I say
from so far away, does it sound clear?
my teachers tell me all of your powers
how you give people things they ask for
healing the sick and feeding the hungry
you could do all of this and do more
they say i should love you, they say I should talk to you,
and I try! i close my eyes… and imagine a dude in the sky
now i know you’re not really a man, per se
but the image still forms in my mind
i’ve tried to change it, I’m not sure that I can
cause it’s been this way for a long time
i want to be near you, i want to be close to you
and i try! but when i close my eyes… i still picture a dude in the sky.
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3. |
shadows
03:33
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songs i sing for you, poems i weave for you,
i long for you my soul, my soul
i desire to see shadows of what you can be,
and all your secrets i wish to know
but each time i speak about you,
i long for your love
so i’ll keep singing about you,
but it’s not enough, not enough
לא רְאִיתִיךָ lo r’iticha
וְלא יְדַעְתִּיךָ v’lo yedaticha
from your prophets words, from your pray-ers hearts
oh, all i have are visions and names
using imagination, divined by your creation
all these things are one and the same
but each time, i speak about you,
i know it’s not who you are
so i’ll keep singing about you,
though you’re so far, you’re so far
lo r’iticha, i’ve never seen you,
v’lo yedaticha, i do not know you
lo r’iticha, i’ve never seen you,
v’lo yedaticha, i'd love to know you
crown upon your head, flowing garments of red
gorgeous curls falling all around your face
show your (k)not to me, your glory i want to see
please accept these words, and my embrace
lo r’iticha, v’lo yedaticha (x2)
lo r’iticha, i've never seen you,
v’lo yedaticha, i do not know you
lo r’iticha, i’ve never seen you,
v’lo yedaticha, i’d love to know you
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4. |
in the silence
03:49
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when hagar called out to you in the desert,
after being banished from her home
her son in need of water, her heart about to break,
feeling so dejected and alone
you sent them an angel, who lifted them out of despair
yes, you sent them an angel, lord,
and i don’t even know if you are there
are you the sound of the thunder,
are you the crash of the lightning,
are you the wind blowing through the trees,
are you the fog that’s surrounding
are even in the river, or on top of the mountain, lord
are you the still small voice, in the silence
when abraham called out from the alter
about to sacrifice his only son
torn between a father’s love and his love for you
fearful about what he might have done
you sent them an angel, who cast his knife into the air
yes, you sent them an angel, lord,
and i don’t even know if you are there are you...
at sinai, we all stood together
and heard your voice calling from afar
it was all so clear, it was all so real,
and here i’m left to wonder where you are
are you the sound of the thunder,
are you the crash of the lightning,
are you the wind blowing through the trees,
are you the fog that’s surrounding
are even in the river, or on top of the mountain, lord
are you the still small voice, inside...
are you the sound of the thunder,
are you the crash of the lightning,
are you the wind blowing through the trees,
are you the fog that’s surrounding
are even in the river, or on top of the mountain, lord
are you the still small voice
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5. |
not the questions
00:24
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"what i realized from the study of tehillim, from the study of psalms, is that actually it feels to me like what's different is not the questions at all, but the answers we're willing to consider. but the experience of, 'life is excruciating and no one seems interested in helping me out of it' is not new at all. i think that's basically probably endemic to the human condition."
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6. |
if only
04:34
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psalm 27 lines 13-14
לוּלֵא הֶאֱמַנְתִּי לִרְאוֹת בְּטוּב־יְהוָה בְּאֶרֶץ חַיִּים׃
if only I could be sure/believe that I would see yud-hey-vav-hey’s goodness in the land of the living…
קַוֵּה אֶל־יְהוָה חֲזַק וְיַאֲמֵץ לִבֶּךָ וְקַוֵּה אֶל־יְהוָה׃
hope in yud-hey-vav-hey. be strong, encourage your heart, and hope in yud-hey-vav-hey.
lulei he’emanti lirot, lulei he’emanti lirot
lulei he’emanti lirot b’tuv adonai b’eretz chayim (x2)
lulei, lulei, lulei he’emanti lirot
lulei he’emanti lirot b’tuv adonai b’eretz chayim (x2)
chazak v’yametz libecha (x3)
chazak v’yametz libecha v’kaveh el adonai…
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7. |
lead me back
03:03
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hebrew from, and english inspired by, the 2nd petitionary blessing in the weekday amidah on the theme of repentance
i lose sight of you
more times than i’d like to
and looking back there’s nothing i can see
but how can it be
you don’t lose sight of me
even when i hide from what is true
ooh, hashiveinu (cause us to return)
ooh, v’korveinu (draw us close)
ooh, v’hachazireinu b’tshuvah shleima l’fanecha (bring us back in whole-hearted repentance before you)
lead me back, adonai
and help me remember
draw me close, adonai
and hold me again
i’ve been lost, i have strayed
but you’ve always stayed
lead me back, draw me close adonai
did you hear my prayers
or was there no one there
could you read the hebrew in my tears
after all the years
the silence and the fears
i forgot that you could even care
ooh, hashiveinu
ooh, v’korveinu
ooh, v’hachazireinu b’tshuvah shleima l’fanecha
lead me back, adonai
and help me remember
draw me close, adonai
and hold me again
i’ve been lost, i have strayed
but you’ve always stayed
lead me back, draw me close adonai
there’s the light that shines from your teaching
there’s the light that shines from every human soul
lead me back, make it right,
feel that light shining bright
turn to us, we’ll return, make us whole
lead us back, adonai, and help us remember
draw us close adonai, and hold us again
we’ve been lost, we have strayed, but you’ve always stayed
lead us back, draw us close adonai
lead me back, adonai
and help me remember
draw me close, adonai
and hold me again
i’ve been lost, i have strayed
but you’ve always stayed
lead me back, lead me back
lead me back, draw me close adonai
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8. |
three steps
03:11
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hebrew from the introduction to the amidah
הַוַיַה שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח וּפִי יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתְךָ havayah s'fatai tiftach u'fi yagid t'hilatecha
open my lips, all-that-is, and my mouth will share of your glory)
ooh teach me how to be ready (teach me how to be ready)
ooh show me how to be strong (show me how to be strong)
plant my feet (plant my feet) and make them steady (make them steady)
give me the words (give me the words) and I’ll sing along
הַוַיַה שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח וּפִי יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתְךָ havayah s'fatai tiftach u'fi yagid t'hilatecha
ooh open my ears to your story (open my ears to your story)
ooh open my heart to your ways (open my heart to your ways)
open up (open up) my eyes to your glory (my eyes to your glory)
open my lips (open my lips) and I’ll sing your praise... havayah
הַוַיַה שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח וּפִי יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתְךָ havayah s'fatai tiftach u'fi yagid t'hilatecha
three steps back (three steps back)i am awed and humbled (i am awed and humbled)
preparing myself (preparing myself) to enter through (to enter through)
i am strong (i am strong) i will not stumble (i will not stumble)
three steps forward (three steps forward) now i’m here with you...
הַוַיַה שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח וּפִי יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתְךָ havayah s'fatai tiftach u'fi yagid t'hilatecha
havayah, havayah, havayah
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9. |
beyONEd ft. ePRHYME
04:54
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hebrew from the kaddish
לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל-בִּרְכָתָא וְשִׁירָתָא
beyond all blessing and song
יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרוֹמַם וְיִתְנַשֵׂא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל
blessed and praised, glorified and exalted and lifted high, beautified and exalted and praised
l’eilah, l'eilah, l'eilah, l'eilah (x2)
min kol birchata v’shirata
yitbarach, v’yishtabach, v’yitpa’ar v’yitromam
v’yitnaseh v’yithadar v’yitaleh v’yithalal
beyond all space and time
beyond this face and mind
beyond all the wind chasing
after dollar signs
i'm tryin to sanctify
i’m tryin to anchor my
statements in the ancients
while still aiming for the bird’s eye
when i say your name, you’re not there
i can’t place the blame on thin air
i can’t erase the rain with my tears
i can’t face my pain or my fears
without you near, it’s so clear
that you hear all that i don’t say
you were always here before
and will remain long after i go away
to that which is truly beyond
i offer up this song
to that which is truly within
i bring this offering
i know that the flow has nowhere to go —
that’s its role, to move the soul
beyond all definition
toward the infinite, beyond religion
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10. |
hope
00:10
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"if it were not the fact that i believed, well then what exactly? right? and then that notion again of hope, the consequence of which appears to be more hope."
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11. |
the mountains
05:25
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hebrew from psalm 121
אֶשָּׂא עֵינַי אֶל-הֶהָרִים
i lift my eyes up to the mountains
when i forget i’m as small as a speck of dust- esa einai el heharim
when i forget i’m as big as the universe- esa einai el heharim
i look up to the mountains and my answer comes:
we are one, we are one, we are one (x2)
when i can’t see the pure inside of me- esa einai el heharim
when i can’t find the peace inside my mind- esa einai el heharim
i look up to the mountains and my answer comes:
you are loved, you are loved, you are loved (x3)
we are all made up of the same star-stuff,
we are held and loved, we are one (x2)
ezri, ezri, ezri me’im havayah (my help comes from all-that-is)
i look up to the mountains and my answer comes:
you are loved, you are loved, you are loved
we are one, we are one, we are one (x2)
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12. |
the name
02:57
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in his last days jacob asked his sons to gather ‘round
he wanted to ensure their faith in g?d was sound
“is there any division within your hearts, my sons?”
“oh listen father Israel, our g?d is one.”
jacob smiled and closed his eyes, and breathed a great big sigh,
and whispered:
baruch...shem k’vod...malchuto...l’olam...va’ed
blessed is the name of g?d’s kingdom forever, and ever
moses heard the angels dancing and singing g?d’s praise
he was so moved by their prayers that he brought the people their phrase
but people aren’t angels, so we keep our voices low
because we wouldn’t want those beings on high to know
so we smile and close our eyes, and breathe a great big sigh
and whisper:
baruch...shem k’vod...malchuto...l’olam...va’ed
blessed is the name of g?d’s kingdom forever, and ever
on the holiest day of the year
we come before g?d without fear
we are whole, we are light
so we sing with all our might and voices
baruch shem k’vod malchuto
l'olam va’ed
baruch shem k’vod malchuto l'olam va’ed
blessed is the name of g?d’s kingdom forever, and ever
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13. |
i rise
03:05
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i rise
in the presence of the infinite
i rise
one with all the earth
i rise
breathing in blessings
i rise
one with all the earth...
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14. |
that's what it means
00:40
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"a student who approaches the kutzker rebbe:
'rebbe, i think i don't believe in g?d.'
and the kutzker says 'ma echpat lecha? what do you care?'
the student says 'rebbe what do you mean, what if i care?'
if there's no g?d, then why do i keep the mitzvos?'
'what do you care, mah echpat lecha?'
the student starts screaming: 'rebbe, if there's no g?d then i don't know why i keep the mitzvos, i don't know what the torah is, i don't know why i do any of this, and i don't know what the meaning of my life is, and i don't know why i'm here, and i don't know what's expected of me!'
and the kotzker says, 'oh, you care? du bist a khshrer yid. right- you really care? you're a kosher jew.'"
if those are the questions that really matter to you, that's what it means to take torah seriously in a broken, fragmented, in a world overrun with suffering..."
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Eliana Light Durham, North Carolina
Working towards a world of One-ness, guided and inspired by Jewish heritage.
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